LIFE WITH A VISION

Why AIDS? What Can We Do?

2009-04-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Why AIDS, you might ask me? When this all started, I didn't know anyone with AIDS or even anyone who had been affected by it. Honestly, I really never even thought about it. Out of sight out of mind, I guess. But then I heard a sermon and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The sermon was not about AIDS or sick people, but about getting out of your comfort zone and taking an interest in the people "out there." The preacher mentioned AIDS and how he just knew there was someone who would take this on. Of course, he was talking to me, right? I don't think so. I know God was grabbing my heart and ever since then my heart has been breaking for the AIDS community.

Just take a moment and think how you would feel if you were given the news that you are HIV positive. It is not a disease like cancer where you would let everyone know, so that they could pray for you and support you. Who would you tell? Who would love you despite the disease? People might be afraid of you. People might judge you. People might reject you. Am I saying this is right? No, but it happens. I remember hearing a story at a conference in Orlando about a man in California who was HIV positive. The only family member that would allow him to live with them was his brother. But he had to live in the backyard; the hose was his shower and the ground was his bed. Yes, this was in the U.S. I could tell you story after story of those infected with the virus being rejected by their own church, the very place they should find comfort. Would a cancer patient ever be turned away from church? So when you ask, why, there is my answer. AIDS is different. There is no cure. It can be prevented, but the numbers of those infected only keeps rising. I also believe it is a tremendous challenge to minister to someone with AIDS because of all the complications, the mistrust, the hurt. But that is EXACTLY why it is important that the church gets involved. If we don't, who will? I say it is time to let go of fear and ignorance and jump in; let's find a way in. Isn't that what Jesus would do? Some say it is their fault. Some say it is a "gay" disease. (I could write much about those statements, by the way. I DISAGREE) But I say, even if these statements were true, who cares? The church should be the first place they think of for help, not the last. I know what you are thinking. How can I or my church help? Here are a couple of ideas:

1. If there is an AIDS Walk happening near you during the year, walk in it. And don't just walk in it. Get a group together from your church and go walk together. Meet people. Make connections. Leave the walls of your church. This experience will open your eyes. The AIDS community would not really expect to see a church group there. You can make a difference just by showing up and being there to show your support.

2. DINING OUT FOR LIFE happens in March/April all over the US. (end of April for most cities involved) Check out the website. www.diningoutforlife.com (it lists all the participating cities/restaurants) All you have to do is go out to eat. Get a group from church to go out together and show your support.

3. This one is a little tougher. Get in touch with an AIDS clinic near you and simply ask, "what is it that you need? What can we do for you?" Trust me, they have needs. That is how the baby baskets got started. It takes a lot of time to build a relationship, but slowly they begin to trust. We are still trying to achieve that goal. When you sign on for this, be ready to stay involved. You do more harm than good if you show up once and then disappear- which is exactly what they expect.

4. This one is for preachers/youth ministers/family ministers, etc. Preach. You have so much influence on your congregation. People listen to you and they hang on your every word. Yeah, most of the time, we just wait for you to say something wrong. ;) But there might be that one person in the audience that God is using you to speak to. Be bold and have courage. I would not want your job. But oh how I would love to have that gift of speaking. Your influence is so huge. You might step on some toes, but think of the difference that one person that hears the truth could make. Have faith. Preach. :)

So that is it in a nutshell. I love you if you read this entire blog. I know I can go on and on and I would if I thought you had time to read it. Thank you for giving me your time.
Check out www.heintendsvictory.com

NO EXCUSES!

2008-11-03T12:15:00.000-08:00

It has been a week since the seminar and I have had some time to reflect on all that happened. I can honestly say, the night before, I was questioning why we had even attempted to do this. People were backing out, for one reason or another, even church leaders and an important speaker. Even at midnight, the day of the seminar, I was very discouraged. That morning, I was terrified. The devil was on the prowl, but I felt all your prayers and certainly was comforted by all the encouragement I received. All that fear and doubt was surely due to my lack of faith in all that God can do. His plan makes so much more sense than all I had in mind. I am so thankful for the 17 people that were there to hear such a powerful message.

I learned so many things that day. One of the details that has stuck with me is how surprised Joanie and Kathi (speakers from He Intends Victory) were that not one of us there knows a person with AIDS. They were so happy about that. It does not directly affect us, but we were still there. Many people have asked me why I am doing this AIDS ministry? I am perplexed and just have to say God. Why should it have to be something that affects me to get involved? Until a year ago, I was content going to church, working in the nursery, working with the youth, going to the service and going home. I am not saying those things are bad, but ARE THEY ENOUGH?! I just can't see how that's enough when there are thousands upon thousands of people OUT THERE that do not know Jesus. Why should we expect them to come to us? Isn't that backwards?

Many people have told me they do not share the same passion about AIDS as me. The more people have told me that, the crazier I start to feel. I have started to realize, though, that my passion is not really AIDS. My passion is people that don't know Jesus. People that we are not reaching. People with AIDS, the gays, the homeless, the drug addicts, the young girls having abortions, the prostitutes, the prisoners, the foster children, the deadbeat dads and on and on and on. Is the woman who just sold her daughter for sex, so she could support her drug habit really going to walk through the doors of your church and say she needs Jesus? And if she does what will they say? How will she feel? Should not we be walking in WITH her holding her hand? That is my passion and I pray with all my heart it will be until the day I die. Should not that be all our passion if we claim to serve Christ? Don't get me wrong; I am no saint. I love TV and good food and playing with my son and just laying around when I have had a bad day at work. I am judgemental and weak and lazy and have been my whole life. But I cannot believe that God is okay with me that way. AIDS is a ministry I feel the church has ignored for far too long and too much time has been wasted already. People in my community AND YOURS are living with a disease that cannot be cured and they are living with it with no hope. We know that hope is Jesus and we have to share that no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it may be. No excuses! You don't have to share a passion of AIDS; make your passion people that are lost. And let's join together to bring people that hope no matter the cost!

Pray!!

2008-10-19T13:22:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

So the HIV/AIDS seminar is less than a week away. I have no idea how it will turn out. All I know is that God is in it and is in control. It has not exactly turned out the way I had dreamed it, but I, once again, am reminded that my dreams are not God's plans. :) I am very excited to see what God can do with those that show up, no matter how small the number might be.

I am using this blog to ask you to please be in prayer all week for this event. Pray that all of things that need to be done in preparation will get finished in time. Pray that He Intends Victory will have safe travel. Pray that God will use their testimonies to impact the lives of whoever chooses to attend. Pray that ONLY God will be given the glory. Continue to pray for direction for anyone involved in this ministry. We are going to need it. Thank you for all your prayers. I love you all and hope to see some of you there. I will let you know how it goes! In the meantime, PRAY!!!!!!

God is Teaching Me

2008-09-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

God is so good at teaching me lessons about life. People that I admire that have been working in this AIDS ministry for years have said this is "very dificult" work. But it is just like anything; you have to experience it before you can actually understand what they mean.

I struggle to find the balance. But God is slowly teaching me to find it. I long to do more, but God is teaching me I need to ask for help. I want so much to find a way into these peoples' hearts NOW, but God is teaching me that it takes time. And then there is the fact they don't need me, they need HIM. There are many mornings I cry to God (don't forget I am pregnant, so it is more like sobbing :)) because there is no way I can do all this. But God never said I had o do it alone. And he teaches me through people like my husband who has worked so hard to help me with all of this business stuff I am perplexed and frustrated by. And to watch him talk to a person with AIDS for the first time and be moved by her story made it clear that God is in all of this. Then there are the times like this week when I needed to make 4 baskets (for the HIV moms at the Rainbow Center) and realized I was running low on supplies. I was frustrated at myself for being unprepared, but I had to ask for help. I HATE ASKING FOR HELP!!!!!!! When I did, though, it all came together. I will have everything I need by tomorrow afternoon, so the baskets can be delivered on Friday. Praise God! I am forever moved by the generosity of people; they probably do not even realize the difference they are making when they give. (I would name names, but you all might slap me)

With every step there are frustrations. It is hard to understand why the seminar I thought would be for 200 people will be limited to only 30 because of a Fall Festival. And it is frustrating to realize that it would probably be easier to start a church than to run a new non profit. What the heck is WITH that? I do know that God's plan is far more precious than my little dreams and plans. He has shown that time and time again. May He continue to do that and may He keep teaching me. May He keep providing this fearful being with courage to do things I never imagined doing. And may glory be given to only HIM! I love all of you; please pray with me for this ministry. The church has the answer to AIDS. Fear and ignorance must not be in the way. Your prayers means SO much!

This is only the beginning!

2008-08-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

It has been about a year since I, so unknowingly, said "yes" to the call of working with people with AIDS. And I have loved every minute of it.... well, I would not say every minute. :) There have been days, even weeks, when I wanted to turn back and forget that it ever happened. I never realized how hard it would really be. I discovered that when I told these people we are doing something for them, it absolutely had to be done at any cost. A friend told me "this is a life committment. You cannot show up for these people and then find a new project; you will only end up doing more harm than good." That really hit home with me and I remind myself of that every time I want to throw in the towel.
I have been so blessed to travel on this journey with God as my ultimate leader. He has taught me much about myself and how little I was doing to reach the lost people that He loves so much. I still feel as though I have done very little, but my desire to love those who feel unloved only grows stronger every day.
This non profit we call Life With A Vision, is slowly taking shape. We will be tax-exempt, hopefully in the next month, only by the grace of God (bc first we have to raise $750 for an APPLICATION FEE!!??). I feel like we have dragged our feet so badly, but then, maybe God has just been preparing us for all that is ahead.
Personally, I have faced obstacles that seemed like huge roadblocks in the way. I am telling you, now, though, that every struggle I have faced in the past months has only made me stronger, more confident and more trusting that God is in control. I have seen projects almost completely fall apart, but then God, so graciously, takes it and makes it bigger than I ever imagined it could be. I am so thankful that the people at The Rainbow Center have received baby supplies (and will every 3 months) galore and will be getting a whole load of school supplies next week. God has provided me with tons of generous, compassionate, people that are more than willing to donate their money and time. I am so beyond thankful for every one of them. A seminar is being planned as you read this, which I am confident will have an impact on Jacksonville's faith and non-faith communities. I may even get the opportunity to attend a baby "shower" put on by The Rainbow Center to support pregnant women with AIDS! One step at a time God is moving me, using me, leading me and I want nothing more than to serve and to love and to embrace these beautiful people who have only felt fear and rejection and lonliness.
And what about the AIDS Walk? When we are tax exempt, we will begin to plan, something I am so excited about finally happening. Am I scared? Heck, yeah!!! But I pray for clarity; God will lead the way. And like my husband told me, "Night after night it returns to you, so day after day, you should follow it one step at a time. Never give up on a dream."

Sometimes Life is Unfair

2008-05-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a friend's blog about the tragedy that happened to the Chapman family. It breaks my heart. And I cry for them because it makes me think of my own son, who just graduated from preschool, who I love with everything I am. I cannot imagine my life without him.

I am also reminded of one of my heroes. My cross-country coach from high school, Coach Mac. He always believed in me, encouraged me and always had great advice about running. The best advice he ever gave me came years later, though. His teenage daughter, Jessica, was killed in a car accident driving home from the beach. She had so much going for her and it was all gone in a second. When I went to visit Coach, after the accident, I brought Isaiah, my son with me. I told him how sorry I was. And he gave me these, oh so true, words. "She was never mine in the first place. I just got to have her for awhile and I will cherish every moment I had. And he told me to remember that Isaiah is not mine; he is God's. Cherish every second." These words from a broken man. I remember those words and hold them close to my heart. May we always cherish our children, our perfect gift from God. And thank Him for every minute with them.

God Is Moving!

2008-05-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever really said "yes" to God? Well, when the reality of AIDS hit me through a sermon I heard (and that is only to make a long story short) and I said "YES!", God has continually brought experiences my way that would only strengthen my desire to do something about AIDS. Just when I think I am too tired or busy or burdened with problems, God will say, "BRITNEY... there is this seminar or this consortium or this walk, etc. you need to go to. Luckily, I go. Because I am so blessed every single time.

This weekend happened to be an HIV/AIDS Seminar at Calvary Chapel. I never would have guessed who would possibly be there. What I would learn. Anything. I just got a couple people to go with me and check it out. Honestly, there were not many people there, maybe 30, at the most.

We met Dan Davis, who was diagnosed with full blown AIDS in 1994. A man who was molested at a very young age and then raped as a young man by his landlord. A man who spent many years in the gay lifestyle, feeling scared and alone. Dan's story is amazing. He was saved by the grace of God, even after a preacher told him "leave the gay lifestyle or leave the church." Today he is saved; he leads a support group in Phoenix and is married with 3 kids. If only I could tell you his whole story. There is so much more.

We met Tracie and Tim Danneville. Tracie has been HIV for 24 years. She infected her now 18 year old daughter when she was born. Her husband has full blown AIDS. They have a ministry in Lakeland, FL called "Straight to the Heart." If I thought Dan's story was amazing, their story was even more powerful.

We also met Bruce and Joni. Bruce is someone I had read about already and admired him just because of his story. I never imagined I would meet and talk with him and be encouraged by him. He does not have AIDS or HIV, but he started something called He Intends Victory, which leads support groups for people with AIDS all over the world. If God can use Bruce, maybe he can use me, too.

The man that publicized this seminar in Jax says it was very frustrating. He contacted every church he could find, and did not receive one response. But I know that I found out about it because God wanted me there. He is moving in me and I am scared, overwhelmed, and joyful all at the same time.
Bruce said "God's church is a hospital for broken lives. People should be able to come there to be mended by the love of Jesus Christ." That is why we are here!!!!!

Isaiah 41:13 says "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear, I will help you." What more do we need? We have to stop allowing Satan to use fear; I believe it is the church's biggest enemy. And mine. But God is moving in me and I won't give up. I met some beautiful people that are already fighting this fight. I am going to keep fighting with them. AIDS isn't going anywhere; there is no cure.
"But there is a cure for the hopelessness of AIDS. And we know that cure is Jesus Christ." Dan Davis

Let me finish with this. It is a rap written by Tracie's daughter who was born with HIV by no fault of her own. But God is already using this young woman in powerful ways. She is trying to prevent kids her age from getting the disease.

Fight AIDS Rap
by Leslie Clementi
Yo!
My name is Lesley and I wanna tell you
that I have HIV if you do that's two.
I am here to tell you and I am here to say
that you are cool in every way.
My mom has HIV my stepdad got AIDS
don't treat us like you want to throw us away.
If you don't want to be my friend it's your loss
but you're missing out on a lot. Oh Gosh!
I love you God can't you see
that you mean so much to me so I plea!
Bad times in life have been here before
Needles hurt they make you sore.
I have been kicked out of church
I have not been able to come
but all I need is love so give me some.
I am just like you
I am a normal teen, so let me do, too.
My biggest fear is to die,
but please listen up this is no lie.
I don't get sick very often,
but I don't want my mom picking out the coffin.
Ya'll hear me now; Don't have sex,
Cause you're taking a risk somehow.
So don't take the risk,
You don't want to turn out like me.
You don't want to walk in my shoes,
so thanks for listening to me!

AIDS WALK 2008

2008-04-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend a team of seven of us went down to Orlando and walked in their annual AIDS Walk. I was so impressed with everyone's committment to the cause. We left Jacksonville at an ugly 5:30 am. It was great spending the 2 hours getting to know them and seeing that they were as excited as I was gave me much encouragement. We walked around Lake Eola two times, only to realize that we were supposed to walk three times, but don't worry we are honest. We walked our third lap after everyone else was finished. There were all kinds of people there from all walks of life. There was the gay men's chorus, a huge group from Disney, a group from Gap and a quite large group called "Alex's Angels" who were walking for Alex who had died of AIDS. There were even black women wearing shirts that said "I HAVE HIV....Don't you wish it were that easy to tell." And an older man proudly wearing his "I'm an 18 year survivor" T-shirt. As we left the walk, I felt a little disappointment that I did not create an opportunity to talk with any of them.

Now that I have had time to reflect, I realize I will be doing that many times again in my life. It was an experience like no other. I see that group of people in my mind, and I think that is where we, as Christians, SHOULD be. We are on this earth to bring people to Christ. But not just people that we are comfortable being around... ALL PEOPLE!! Even the man at the walk that was dressed as a woman; yes Jesus loves him, too. Yes, it is incredibly difficult to find a way in their world, but who cares?!! God never said it would be easy; in fact He tells us it WILL be difficult, but He is with us. He wants us to give our everything so that anyone and everyone will see His love reflected off of us. In my mind, God gives us a huge opportunity with the gay community, people with AIDS, and just plain hurting people. It is an opportunity to give of ourselves; a call to bring hope to the hopeless. To show love to the unloved; to bring God's compassion and grace to those who feel rejected. We have to stop sitting in our churches looking out the window waiting for them to come to us. God tells to "go out unto all the world." I am done waiting for them to find me; LET"S GO GET THEM!!!! God has given me a burning desire to love these people. God never let that passion die. Make it burn until the day I die.
With all that said, I want to say that I am so proud of my team! They are awesome. The 2 teens that went, I cannot say how impressed with them I am. Jordan and Lindsay, God is raising up great leaders in you! I CANNOT wait to see all that He will do through you! The rest of my team: Cheryl, Belinda, Melissa, Rachel, I am so blessed to have such great warriors on my team. We are going to shake up Jacksonville with God's love! Who is with us?!!! :) Thank you for walking on this journey! You are awesome!

Will You Be A Leader?

2008-03-26T11:49:00.000-07:00

What a question, right? I think it is incredibly difficult to be a great leader today. You have to be willing to do things outside of the box and take risks; a good leader must have an enormous amount of courage. I always thought a leader had to be someone that, not only looks like a leader(you know, put together, well-dressed), but also speaks with confidence and is not afraid of anything. Well, that is certainly not me. To be honest, I think I have lived my life as a follower. You tell me what to do and I will do it. Through the process of beginning this AIDS ministry, I have constantly been asking people I respect questions like, "what do you think, what should I do, do you think this is right?" Pretty much every reponse I have received left me more confused than ever. And I began to realize that God gave me this huge passion for a reason. I am often baffled when people do not get as excited about this like I am, but now I know that we all are given a passion and a purpose and God calls us to pursue it. No I do not look like a leader, no I don't talk like one and I am afraid of so much. But God gives me boldness when I least expect it and He gives me courage when I need it the most. When I think that all people see is this scared little girl, He allows my heart to shine through. When people do not understand why I am so passionate about helping people with AIDS and reaching out to the gay community, God gives me the words to say. So what is a good leader? I really am not sure how to answer that except that God made us all different and will use us how He sees fit. We, however, have to accept the call and have to be willing to sacrifice it all to accomplish His perfect purpose! I do not think I will ever consider myself to be a leader, but I do know that I cannot use this short life just to watch it go by. I said "yes" to God. There is no turning back. There is no cure for AIDS, but there is a hope that is eternal! May God be our ultimate leader today and everyday and give us the desire to seek the passion He has placed on our hearts with reckless abandon until the day He calls us home!

Live with vision. It's a command!

2008-03-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

About nine months ago, I began a life changing journey. I heard a sermon by Arron Chambers that led me to believe that little old me was supposed to do something about this enormous pandemic called AIDS. Geez. Where do I begin? An AIDS Walk sounded like a great idea and it still does, but it is a long work in process. So a couple of us started thinking about something we could do now to make an impact in the AIDS community of Jacksonville. We decided to make care packages for new moms with AIDS at The Rainbow Center in Jacksonville. The Rainbow Center is a family-centered, comprehensive health care provider for HIV-infected or exposed infants, children, adolescents, women and their families, including their partners. It began with the idea of providing a few baby care items, but grew into making laundry baskets packed FULL of baby stuff. I was completely overwhelmed with the enormous response from people that just plain care! I was and still am in awe of everyone's generosity. We collected enough supplies to make over 30 baskets!!! It was a lot of hard work and a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone, personally, but we finally got to deliver the care packages to The Rainbow Center. We delivered 12 baskets plus a lot of donated clothing; we will go back every 3 months to deliver baskets for a support group the staff holds for their new moms. I pray, that as time passes, we will build a lasting relationship with the staff and the patients. My ultimate goal is to be more than people dropping off baby supplies. God calls us to be the hands and feet of Jesus. May God use me and the many others who have jumped on board for this amazing, exciting, yet disturbing, heartbreaking adventure to show God's grace to ANYONE we run into along the way. Let Matthew 25:40 be forever in our mind as we work together.
Many have encouraged me along the beginning of this journey and some are already moving on. At first, I was very sad, but now I see that they can take this with them where they are going and make it even bigger. I will try and keep this blog up to date until we get a website set up of all that we are trying to do and I hope I will hear from all of you about your adventure, too. I am still very interested in organizing an AIDS Walk in Jacksonville. The non profit has to be up and running first, which, for me has been an uphill battle. I am not going to give up and will keep you informed. In the meantime, a group of us will be travelling to Orlando to walk in their AIDS Walk. I am very excited about the impact we could have there and I will let you know how it goes! Until then, live your life with a vision, a vision to love others no matter the cost!

2008-03-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

So this is my first post ever. I had to start this thing off with a video of a pastor in Rwanda that I admire for his thoughts on helping people in need. Watch the whole thing because what he says at the end is what spoke to me the most!