Items Needed For The Rainbow Center Baskets

Hey everyone! I am in the process of finding a new way to let you know an updated list of items we need for the Rainbow Center Baskets. I apologize for not having a better way at the moment. I hope to have a new website by the next round of baskets. Anyway, here are the items we need for September. I will keep it updated pretty much daily. All items are needed by Friday September 20th. :) Every item helps, so thank you in advance for all of your help. Britney 8 small packs of size 1 diapers 6 tubs of wipes 7 packs of wipes refills 7 bottles of baby wash (no pumps please) 8 bottles of baby lotion (no tubs please) 8 diaper creams 6 packs of pacifiers 8 cans of formula (Gerber goodstart protect plus small green can) 8 packs of baby towels 8 packs of receiving blankets 8 packs of onesies (size 0-3 months) 8 packs of bibs 7 packs of baby socks 8 packs of baby hats 8 packs of burpcloths 8 white round laundry baskets

WORLD AIDS DAY 2012

Today is World AIDS Day. I am not sure how many people know that. It is a topic that is not really talked about anymore. Even the news barely mentions it. You would hope it is because HIV/AIDS has been cured or that very few people have it. Surely it is because no one dies from it anymore, but that couldn't be further from the truth. In the last 3 months, I have lost two friends to AIDS. Both were women, one in her thirties and one in her forties. One left behind a six year old son who is now orphaned by AIDS. His father died from it 5 years ago. These precious women had very different stories, but both had tremendous faith and courage. I have many friends living with HIV and they are truly some of the bravest people I know. You would think the number of cases of those living with HIV has gone down since we don't hear about it, but the number has not gone down. It continues to rise. Worldwide, there are 40 million people living with the disease. There are about 1.2 million cases in the United States. In a study done last year, Jacksonville was shown to be number three in the top 25 cities of HIV cases in the United States. Jacksonville has more cases than New York City, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, Detroit and Chicago. And these are just the known cases. There are a lot of people walking around without knowing their status. The above information might disturb you some, but to me, what is more alarming is how the stigma has remained after all these years. People still remain very secretive about their HIV status, living in fear of who may or may not find out. People are still rejected by churches, friends and family because they are HIV positive. People would rather say they have cancer than to admit they are HIV positive. In the last six years, I have learned so much about this disease. I have been blessed to meet modern day heroes fighting this battle, spreading awareness and more importantly the love of Jesus. A lot of them do this all while fighting the disease themselves. They know firsthand the struggles that come with the medications, the stigma and the fear. I really do feel blessed to be a part of this ministry. It can definitely be discouraging, though. I have felt much disappointment, confusion and even anger. More importantly, though, I am learning to trust. I have seen God move in amazing and beautiful ways. He is teaching me that sometimes the harder it is, the more important it is. If I invite 100 to come and only one shows up, that one matters!! I am learning to never give up. John Gardener said "We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." This is how I see AIDS. It is an opportunity from God for the church to be the church, to show up when no one else will. It is quite beautiful if you think about it. As you pray, please keep the AIDS community locally and worldwide in mind. Pray for those living with it, for those searching for a cure for it and for those in ministries here and around the world. Thanks for reading this. Thanks for being a part of this ministry in one way or another. I love you all so much. PS- Don't forget to wear red today. Spread the word.

Why AIDS? What Can We Do?

Why AIDS, you might ask me? When this all started, I didn't know anyone with AIDS or even anyone who had been affected by it. Honestly, I really never even thought about it. Out of sight out of mind, I guess. But then I heard a sermon and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The sermon was not about AIDS or sick people, but about getting out of your comfort zone and taking an interest in the people "out there." The preacher mentioned AIDS and how he just knew there was someone who would take this on. Of course, he was talking to me, right? I don't think so. I know God was grabbing my heart and ever since then my heart has been breaking for the AIDS community.

Just take a moment and think how you would feel if you were given the news that you are HIV positive. It is not a disease like cancer where you would let everyone know, so that they could pray for you and support you. Who would you tell? Who would love you despite the disease? People might be afraid of you. People might judge you. People might reject you. Am I saying this is right? No, but it happens. I remember hearing a story at a conference in Orlando about a man in California who was HIV positive. The only family member that would allow him to live with them was his brother. But he had to live in the backyard; the hose was his shower and the ground was his bed. Yes, this was in the U.S. I could tell you story after story of those infected with the virus being rejected by their own church, the very place they should find comfort. Would a cancer patient ever be turned away from church? So when you ask, why, there is my answer. AIDS is different. There is no cure. It can be prevented, but the numbers of those infected only keeps rising. I also believe it is a tremendous challenge to minister to someone with AIDS because of all the complications, the mistrust, the hurt. But that is EXACTLY why it is important that the church gets involved. If we don't, who will? I say it is time to let go of fear and ignorance and jump in; let's find a way in. Isn't that what Jesus would do? Some say it is their fault. Some say it is a "gay" disease. (I could write much about those statements, by the way. I DISAGREE) But I say, even if these statements were true, who cares? The church should be the first place they think of for help, not the last. I know what you are thinking. How can I or my church help? Here are a couple of ideas:

1. If there is an AIDS Walk happening near you during the year, walk in it. And don't just walk in it. Get a group together from your church and go walk together. Meet people. Make connections. Leave the walls of your church. This experience will open your eyes. The AIDS community would not really expect to see a church group there. You can make a difference just by showing up and being there to show your support.

2. DINING OUT FOR LIFE happens in March/April all over the US. (end of April for most cities involved) Check out the website. www.diningoutforlife.com (it lists all the participating cities/restaurants) All you have to do is go out to eat. Get a group from church to go out together and show your support.

3. This one is a little tougher. Get in touch with an AIDS clinic near you and simply ask, "what is it that you need? What can we do for you?" Trust me, they have needs. That is how the baby baskets got started. It takes a lot of time to build a relationship, but slowly they begin to trust. We are still trying to achieve that goal. When you sign on for this, be ready to stay involved. You do more harm than good if you show up once and then disappear- which is exactly what they expect.

4. This one is for preachers/youth ministers/family ministers, etc. Preach. You have so much influence on your congregation. People listen to you and they hang on your every word. Yeah, most of the time, we just wait for you to say something wrong. ;) But there might be that one person in the audience that God is using you to speak to. Be bold and have courage. I would not want your job. But oh how I would love to have that gift of speaking. Your influence is so huge. You might step on some toes, but think of the difference that one person that hears the truth could make. Have faith. Preach. :)

So that is it in a nutshell. I love you if you read this entire blog. I know I can go on and on and I would if I thought you had time to read it. Thank you for giving me your time.
Check out www.heintendsvictory.com

NO EXCUSES!

It has been a week since the seminar and I have had some time to reflect on all that happened. I can honestly say, the night before, I was questioning why we had even attempted to do this. People were backing out, for one reason or another, even church leaders and an important speaker. Even at midnight, the day of the seminar, I was very discouraged. That morning, I was terrified. The devil was on the prowl, but I felt all your prayers and certainly was comforted by all the encouragement I received. All that fear and doubt was surely due to my lack of faith in all that God can do. His plan makes so much more sense than all I had in mind. I am so thankful for the 17 people that were there to hear such a powerful message.

I learned so many things that day. One of the details that has stuck with me is how surprised Joanie and Kathi (speakers from He Intends Victory) were that not one of us there knows a person with AIDS. They were so happy about that. It does not directly affect us, but we were still there. Many people have asked me why I am doing this AIDS ministry? I am perplexed and just have to say God. Why should it have to be something that affects me to get involved? Until a year ago, I was content going to church, working in the nursery, working with the youth, going to the service and going home. I am not saying those things are bad, but ARE THEY ENOUGH?! I just can't see how that's enough when there are thousands upon thousands of people OUT THERE that do not know Jesus. Why should we expect them to come to us? Isn't that backwards?

Many people have told me they do not share the same passion about AIDS as me. The more people have told me that, the crazier I start to feel. I have started to realize, though, that my passion is not really AIDS. My passion is people that don't know Jesus. People that we are not reaching. People with AIDS, the gays, the homeless, the drug addicts, the young girls having abortions, the prostitutes, the prisoners, the foster children, the deadbeat dads and on and on and on. Is the woman who just sold her daughter for sex, so she could support her drug habit really going to walk through the doors of your church and say she needs Jesus? And if she does what will they say? How will she feel? Should not we be walking in WITH her holding her hand? That is my passion and I pray with all my heart it will be until the day I die. Should not that be all our passion if we claim to serve Christ? Don't get me wrong; I am no saint. I love TV and good food and playing with my son and just laying around when I have had a bad day at work. I am judgemental and weak and lazy and have been my whole life. But I cannot believe that God is okay with me that way. AIDS is a ministry I feel the church has ignored for far too long and too much time has been wasted already. People in my community AND YOURS are living with a disease that cannot be cured and they are living with it with no hope. We know that hope is Jesus and we have to share that no matter how difficult and uncomfortable it may be. No excuses! You don't have to share a passion of AIDS; make your passion people that are lost. And let's join together to bring people that hope no matter the cost!

Pray!!

Hi everyone!

So the HIV/AIDS seminar is less than a week away. I have no idea how it will turn out. All I know is that God is in it and is in control. It has not exactly turned out the way I had dreamed it, but I, once again, am reminded that my dreams are not God's plans. :) I am very excited to see what God can do with those that show up, no matter how small the number might be.

I am using this blog to ask you to please be in prayer all week for this event. Pray that all of things that need to be done in preparation will get finished in time. Pray that He Intends Victory will have safe travel. Pray that God will use their testimonies to impact the lives of whoever chooses to attend. Pray that ONLY God will be given the glory. Continue to pray for direction for anyone involved in this ministry. We are going to need it. Thank you for all your prayers. I love you all and hope to see some of you there. I will let you know how it goes! In the meantime, PRAY!!!!!!

God is Teaching Me

God is so good at teaching me lessons about life. People that I admire that have been working in this AIDS ministry for years have said this is "very dificult" work. But it is just like anything; you have to experience it before you can actually understand what they mean.

I struggle to find the balance. But God is slowly teaching me to find it. I long to do more, but God is teaching me I need to ask for help. I want so much to find a way into these peoples' hearts NOW, but God is teaching me that it takes time. And then there is the fact they don't need me, they need HIM. There are many mornings I cry to God (don't forget I am pregnant, so it is more like sobbing :)) because there is no way I can do all this. But God never said I had o do it alone. And he teaches me through people like my husband who has worked so hard to help me with all of this business stuff I am perplexed and frustrated by. And to watch him talk to a person with AIDS for the first time and be moved by her story made it clear that God is in all of this. Then there are the times like this week when I needed to make 4 baskets (for the HIV moms at the Rainbow Center) and realized I was running low on supplies. I was frustrated at myself for being unprepared, but I had to ask for help. I HATE ASKING FOR HELP!!!!!!! When I did, though, it all came together. I will have everything I need by tomorrow afternoon, so the baskets can be delivered on Friday. Praise God! I am forever moved by the generosity of people; they probably do not even realize the difference they are making when they give. (I would name names, but you all might slap me)

With every step there are frustrations. It is hard to understand why the seminar I thought would be for 200 people will be limited to only 30 because of a Fall Festival. And it is frustrating to realize that it would probably be easier to start a church than to run a new non profit. What the heck is WITH that? I do know that God's plan is far more precious than my little dreams and plans. He has shown that time and time again. May He continue to do that and may He keep teaching me. May He keep providing this fearful being with courage to do things I never imagined doing. And may glory be given to only HIM! I love all of you; please pray with me for this ministry. The church has the answer to AIDS. Fear and ignorance must not be in the way. Your prayers means SO much!

This is only the beginning!

It has been about a year since I, so unknowingly, said "yes" to the call of working with people with AIDS. And I have loved every minute of it.... well, I would not say every minute. :) There have been days, even weeks, when I wanted to turn back and forget that it ever happened. I never realized how hard it would really be. I discovered that when I told these people we are doing something for them, it absolutely had to be done at any cost. A friend told me "this is a life committment. You cannot show up for these people and then find a new project; you will only end up doing more harm than good." That really hit home with me and I remind myself of that every time I want to throw in the towel.
I have been so blessed to travel on this journey with God as my ultimate leader. He has taught me much about myself and how little I was doing to reach the lost people that He loves so much. I still feel as though I have done very little, but my desire to love those who feel unloved only grows stronger every day.
This non profit we call Life With A Vision, is slowly taking shape. We will be tax-exempt, hopefully in the next month, only by the grace of God (bc first we have to raise $750 for an APPLICATION FEE!!??). I feel like we have dragged our feet so badly, but then, maybe God has just been preparing us for all that is ahead.
Personally, I have faced obstacles that seemed like huge roadblocks in the way. I am telling you, now, though, that every struggle I have faced in the past months has only made me stronger, more confident and more trusting that God is in control. I have seen projects almost completely fall apart, but then God, so graciously, takes it and makes it bigger than I ever imagined it could be. I am so thankful that the people at The Rainbow Center have received baby supplies (and will every 3 months) galore and will be getting a whole load of school supplies next week. God has provided me with tons of generous, compassionate, people that are more than willing to donate their money and time. I am so beyond thankful for every one of them. A seminar is being planned as you read this, which I am confident will have an impact on Jacksonville's faith and non-faith communities. I may even get the opportunity to attend a baby "shower" put on by The Rainbow Center to support pregnant women with AIDS! One step at a time God is moving me, using me, leading me and I want nothing more than to serve and to love and to embrace these beautiful people who have only felt fear and rejection and lonliness.
And what about the AIDS Walk? When we are tax exempt, we will begin to plan, something I am so excited about finally happening. Am I scared? Heck, yeah!!! But I pray for clarity; God will lead the way. And like my husband told me, "Night after night it returns to you, so day after day, you should follow it one step at a time. Never give up on a dream."