God is Teaching Me

God is so good at teaching me lessons about life. People that I admire that have been working in this AIDS ministry for years have said this is "very dificult" work. But it is just like anything; you have to experience it before you can actually understand what they mean.

I struggle to find the balance. But God is slowly teaching me to find it. I long to do more, but God is teaching me I need to ask for help. I want so much to find a way into these peoples' hearts NOW, but God is teaching me that it takes time. And then there is the fact they don't need me, they need HIM. There are many mornings I cry to God (don't forget I am pregnant, so it is more like sobbing :)) because there is no way I can do all this. But God never said I had o do it alone. And he teaches me through people like my husband who has worked so hard to help me with all of this business stuff I am perplexed and frustrated by. And to watch him talk to a person with AIDS for the first time and be moved by her story made it clear that God is in all of this. Then there are the times like this week when I needed to make 4 baskets (for the HIV moms at the Rainbow Center) and realized I was running low on supplies. I was frustrated at myself for being unprepared, but I had to ask for help. I HATE ASKING FOR HELP!!!!!!! When I did, though, it all came together. I will have everything I need by tomorrow afternoon, so the baskets can be delivered on Friday. Praise God! I am forever moved by the generosity of people; they probably do not even realize the difference they are making when they give. (I would name names, but you all might slap me)

With every step there are frustrations. It is hard to understand why the seminar I thought would be for 200 people will be limited to only 30 because of a Fall Festival. And it is frustrating to realize that it would probably be easier to start a church than to run a new non profit. What the heck is WITH that? I do know that God's plan is far more precious than my little dreams and plans. He has shown that time and time again. May He continue to do that and may He keep teaching me. May He keep providing this fearful being with courage to do things I never imagined doing. And may glory be given to only HIM! I love all of you; please pray with me for this ministry. The church has the answer to AIDS. Fear and ignorance must not be in the way. Your prayers means SO much!